Being you

Let me just start by saying it’s hard to be you. I have a hard time being me all the time. I would say that I slightly identify myself as an extroverted introvert. I enjoy going out and crave the attention of other people but I get my fair share of social anxiety and fear the thought of having to meet new people in new settings while craving the comfort of my bed. The fact is, it’s hard to put yourself out there. What if people don’t like you? I think everyone has that small nagging voice in their head, some voices louder than others. The voice in my head generally is just lazy. Get back in bed, you probably won’t like how your hair comes out anyway. Well I’m going to try to let you in on some tips on how to just be you when going out.

I wouldn’t really say I’m a “party animal” and I think a lot of people probably see my personal Instagram and assume I’m a pretty outgoing, “partyer”. I like to have fun and I like to occasionally put myself out there to experience a good time. I’ve actually heard that people have assumed that I’m really not as much of a good friend as I am just someone to go have fun with. Yes this hurt to hear and I know for a fact (as well as my friends know) that I’m a very genuine friend and I strive to give as much as I can to every relationship I’m involved in. However, after some reflection on this assumption I realized why they would think this. Going out requires a bit of confidence, in order to put yourself out there. I would not say I’m the most confident person but I do feel very comfortable in my own skin, which is why I feel good about helping others do the same.

When going out, in order to ensure you’ll feel comfortable and confident, make sure you look the way you want to feel. What I mean by this is, wear the outfit that makes you feel like a goddess. Put on the makeup that you feel is too flashy for your day job and rock it. Am I saying you have to throw on the fluffiest of fake eyelashes and the most see through crop top you own? No. Stay in your comfort zone. Another tip you should follow is to clear your mind before going out. This could be a number of things. I get my energy and good vibes from the people who matter most to me so in order to pump myself up enough to be myself I like to get ready with my girls, blasting music, curling each others’  hair and talking about what’s to come for the night. It really helps me but if you’re the type of person who needs to decompress and get into a more zen zone before you can socialize, by all means grab the yoga mat and chill out for a little. Always try to have a positive outlook for the night. This thought slightly goes with the last tip but it really does help to look forward to your plans. I can’t tell you how many times I’m about to go out and my what I call “party anxiety” comes out and ruins my thoughts for the rest of the evening. Happy thoughts. People want you there, they wouldn’t have invited you or agreed to go if they didn’t! Lastly, know your limits. This is limits in terms of anything you’re comfortable with. If you know you’re putting yourself into a situation that will make you or those around you physically uncomfortable don’t do it. There’s a difference between a little nerves before going out and knowing full well you will want to leave 20 minutes into going out. Knowing your limits helps both you and the people you’re around have a safe and actually fun time. I know my limits (generally) in terms of drinking and the type of environment I like to go into. Granted, if it’s a friends’ birthday or I know they really want to go to a specific place that I know is not really my scene, I try to follow the previous tips to ensure that I still have a great time and enjoy myself to the fullest.

So there you have it. Yes it’s hard to be you but it’s really the only thing you can do, right? You only get one personality so make the best of it and enjoy yourself. Feel free to sound off in the comments with tips of your own or if any of this was remotely helpful. Thanks for reading lovelies.

Outfit details on my Instagram @twentyclueless

– Abby @ TwentyClueless

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