It’s official, I’m now at the age where it’s not only unusual to see engagement posts on Facebook but it’s actually normal. A very strange phenomenon, for those of us who still remember their crush from the 6th grade and now that person has a house and 2 kids. A trend I’ve noticed within these postings is the ring pictures. Yes, I follow every damn wedding account on Instagram so I can slowly research what kind of ring my, what I assume, very rich husband will pick out for me eventually. In the ring pictures are various ways of displaying the happy occasion such as a mug that states “does this ring make me look engaged?” and other cutesie ways of showing off their rock. Some cuter than others. Being in the middle of this generation and having friends who are both single and have been in relationships for 5+ years I’ve noticed a common thought. Generally, you’re happy for your friends and random colleagues online who are posting these special moments but there is also a twinge of…is something wrong with my life?
That’s a harsh statement. There’s nothing wrong with my life whether I have a man in it or not and there’s nothing wrong with dating someone a long time before committing emotionally and financially. However, the display of these posts does make me think for a second. The second you are engaged, are you reaching for your future life partner, your phone to contact your mom or your 500 closest Instagram friends? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen some very classy posts and I can generally tell when someone is genuinely excited to start their life with someone and is posting real, special memories for us hopeless romantics to enjoy. But my suggestion would be to keep these moments genuine and special and not just a show.
I feel like at this time in life, the people I know who have been dating for years are being smart about their future and waiting until they’re financially stable to fully commit while people who have been dating for half a year are ready to buy a house, settle down and open a credit card together – all because they think they have to. I’m not sure if this kind of thinking is due to social media and the societal pressures we have on us to be settled down with kids and a house and a mortgage by age 26 but I can assure you I’m nowhere close to that and I think many people with $30,000+ loans will agree with me. Where did the time go? Where does the time go? I’m here to tell you, you have time. As much as I can’t really stand that Zayne Malik song, I really love the message it holds. The first line is “just stop lookin’ for love, girl you still got time.” I love this. As hard as it to really believe this, it’s true. There’s still so much time. If you’re ready to commit to someone at the age of 22, have kids and live your life that way, by all means do it. I have friends who are getting married this year at our age and they’re genuinely happy together and I’m ecstatic for them because I can see in their posts, or lack of posts even, that they’re just really happy together and financially and emotionally ready to commit to each other (finding myself a wedding date by then – a whole different story). Here’s all I have to say about it: do it for yourselves. Not for your family, not for your friends, not for your followers. For love.
Thanks for listening to me complain about the general public, my timeline feed, and my distaste for my own cluelessness loves!